Jul 9, 2013

butterflies and chills and wanting to spew.

It had been around a year and a half since I had seen him. I remember it vaguely. I was dating somebody. I was busy in my senior year of college. And that was then. And this is now. Well this was last week on a Thursday. The fourth of July. 2013. Like everyday for the last how ever many months, we were online chatting in the morning. There's a 9 hours difference from Portland to Italy. Where I reside and where he resides. I'm used to him being on the opposite side of the world because he's been there forever, he's in the military, he's always been over there. Wherever there is. He's almost never home.

Except on the 4th of July. 2013. On the fourth of July he just said he wanted to hang out. That he wanted me to say hello to my parents, or maybe that he should just go say hello to my parents. That surprise! He was in town. Surprise. 

I wanted to run to him just then. I wanted to call a cab. I wanted to hug him so tightly that he couldn't breathe. But sometimes life gets in the way of these things. Sometimes you dont drive and its a major holiday and crossing the state line just isn't as easy as pie. Sometimes you need to not be selfish and you need to let him spend the day with his family, after all he traveled 6000 miles to see them. Sometimes you need to get drunk to forget he's within spitting distance of you and you're not hugging him. So I did. And we agreed that we would meet me after work the following day at 5:15.

I walked into work with an extra spring in my step. I had a serious case of the shit grins. Ear to ear. Mouth wide open. I couldn't wait to tell all the girls at work that he was in town. They already knew a little bit about him. That I was counting down the days to October, that he was my high school boyfriend, that I had feelings for him still. And now they're walking with springs in their steps. They've got the giggles. They looked at me and they all commented on how I was glowing with excitement. And I was. I could feel it. I could feel the blood rushing through my body and the pins and needles. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, I had chills and I wanted to throw up.

9am to 4:45pm went by like a breeze. I was busy at work doing stuff all day. I had shit to do. But after that the next 30 minutes were like getting teeth pulled. At a quarter past five by coworker Lindsey came into the back of the store, tapped her fingers together like Mr Burns and told me my gentlemen friend was here. I'm not really sure how the next 30 seconds happened but I managed to run past the time clock, type in the right numbers, clock off, flew through the set of doors, maneuver around the retail space and hug him. All without falling.

He had gotten taller. I had gotten a temporary case of the specials. I forgot what I was doing and where I was. I made him follow me to the back of the store where I quickly introduced him to my awaiting coworkers, showed him around the studio and asked my boss if I could leave without finishing the project I was working on. Thank you Olenka, for letting me leave. For telling me that sometimes life is more important than work, there's a balance.

So together, we walked out of the shop. He was there. He was here. He asked how I was. I asked how he was. It was normal conversation. We chit chatted. We drove to my apartment and we tried to let the giggles settle. And until he left on Monday, they never did. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Dance. Your. Heart. Out.